i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
This toilet bowl is my home.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
