U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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