im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
