I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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