what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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