you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
