i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
