i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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