you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
