Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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