Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
