never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
