people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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