So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
