In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
