how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
