And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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