i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
