piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
