I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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