Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
