you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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