Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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