Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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