i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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