The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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