I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
