I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i will never coherently bang her
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
