so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We are all done wearing pants today
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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