you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
