i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
