I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
