I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
