No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
