So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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