If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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