needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
