Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
