I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
