Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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