The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
