i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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