This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
