I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize