is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
