I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
