im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
