Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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