i love accidental penises.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
