omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
