She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
