If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
