I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
