I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
